6/27: dazai

[randori]

[ Everybody was too busy crying on Wednesday, it was hard to get anything out of anybody involved. There was Rebecca and Eichi and people Natsuo's a little closer to than Dazai that he could shake answers out of, but they might sugar coat things so that he doesn't worry- He goes to Dazai to be the most truthful of them, planting himself in front of Dazai's bedroom door at night before he turns in to sleep, crossed arms uncrossing the moment he sees Dazai and intercepts him before he can get too far. ]

—You'll tell me what happened? Who made you cry?! I'll do something about it!

Comments

[thesettingsun]

They're all dead. I think possibly one of my daughters is still alive? But she was one when I died, so I know nothing about her and she wouldn't recognize me at all.

A long time has passed between my dying and my being summoned again. It's natural for people who were alive seventy years ago to have passed on, and none of my family was summoned with me.

So: drinking.

[randori]

There's grandkids and stuff? Great grandkids! Amazing grandkids! Even if you haven't seen them in forever, aren't you still family? Though you're strangers... It's not like you have nobody left.

[thesettingsun]

What does it matter if I have grandchildren who I've never met? I don't share any bond with them. We don't even have the same blood now.

[Since his is ink.]

Besides, I doubt my children spoke very kindly of me to their children.

[randori]

They might have! You don't know that! You're a good person, so why wouldn't they have?!

[thesettingsun]

[When Natsuo says 'you're a good person', Dazai laughs. It's a more pained sound than a laugh has any right to be.]

[randori]

[ hey stop that ]

You're a good person.

If nobody else believes it, I do.

[thesettingsun]

Then you're a terrible judge of character. Or are you saying you know me better than I know myself?

[randori]

I don't know! Maybe I am a terrible judge of character, but I'm the judge!!

[thesettingsun]

You're wrong.

This isn't something you get to decide based on whether you want me to be a good person or not. You're wrong.

[randori]

[ ...Hm. Imagine I only italicized the one word and not the rest of the sentence

Anyways, Natsuo shakes his head, because he's that sort of person who wants to believe the best in everybody, however naïve that notion is ]

Everybody thinks they're a good person, everybody does what they think is best. If you don't think you're a good person, you do what you can to change that, so you can become good! Isn't that how it works?

[thesettingsun]

Sometimes being a bad person is just easier than being good. Or sometimes you've given up on being good ages ago.

[Natsuo is trying his best. That doesn't mean he'll succeed.]

[randori]

It's hard to be a bad person, though... Aren't you just exaggerating? You're not a villain or anything, you're a person, and sometimes people do bad things but they're not bad?

[thesettingsun]

What would make someone a villain, if doing bad things isn't enough?

[randori]

A villain is somebody who does bad things on purpose even when they know it's bad.

[thesettingsun]

Then I'm the worst villain.

Goodnight, Natsuo.

[And he'll try to enter his own room.]