6/4: Belph

[randori]

[ Some time after they all got to admire each other's tapestries--

Natsuo remains standing amongst them for a long time, reading and rereading and committing everybody's names and faces to memory, but Belph. Belph... Next time he catches sight of Belph, Natsuo glares at him— it's a sharp glare, not exactly angry, as he is trying to figure something out.

Motions to him with one hand, and with the other, he holds a finger to his lips.

Shh. Get your ass over here. ]

Comments

[axilium]

[uhhhhh.

sure, getting his ass over there? and whispering—]

Am I in trouble?

[randori]

Yeah, you're in trouble!

[ He's whisper-shouting, but his voice is loud enough that it probably makes little difference, coupled by the way he pounds his fist against Belph's tapestry so it can billow in Belph's face. ]

How many times have you gotten punched in the face?

[axilium]

... Oh. [is. is that what this is.] Awww, are you worried for me?

[randori]

I'm going to punch you in the face.

[ YES HE'S WORRIED. ]

[axilium]

Then that would up the count to one!

[randori]

You're not joking, right? You already know how to not get hit in the face and I don't have to teach you?

[ Rather than not instigating fights, it's more important to not let your face get busted, apparently ]

[axilium]

Well, I wouldn't be opposed to lessons, as long as they don't involve actually punching me in the face.

[randori]

If you don't know how to dodge, you're going to get hit. If you do already know, there's nothing I can teach you.

[ So. He's going to get punched in the face. ]

[axilium]

[okay no.]

Who knows? Maybe there was some sort of super special technique I was missing out on.

[randori]

Maybe...? Here, punch me.

[axilium]

... That sounds like the start of a bad idea.

[randori]

I dunno how to explain without showing you, so it has to be like this.

[ motions at him to punch him. don't be shy. ]

Otherwise, the only thing you can do is steal one of the armor's helmets to wear everywhere you go! I can't always be there to stop you from getting punched.

[axilium]

[he's not going to punch him??]

... I really don't think I'm in danger of getting punched. Maybe?

[randori]

It's right there on your tapestry! A punchable face! When I saw that, I wanted to punch you— I bet lots of people are going to be tempted to too!

[ or maybe! Natsuo is just a thug, maybe it's only him that thinks that ]

[axilium]

... I think that's just you? Have you considered seeing a therapist for those violent impulses of yours?

[randori]

Huh—?! No! It's not something a therapist can fix!!



...is it? [ suddenly, he looks very interested. is this something therapy can fix? it's a personality trait ]

[axilium]

If only we could find a therapist here to find out, because I have no idea.

[randori]

Yeah... No. -No. [ The second no is more emphatic, coupled with a little shake of the head ]

Therapists are always like "why do you think this and that?" right? But sometimes people just do things 'cause they feel like it! There's no way to explain it!

[axilium]

Are you saying you just punch people 'cause you feel like it? That seems like a dangerous thing to admit out loud.

[randori]

Uh- No! [ is it too late to say no? ]

I punch people if they deserve it! Like if they're beating up on someone, or if they come at me and want to fight! It's the fist of justice!!

[axilium]

[it is definitely too late.]

Okay, but you just said you wanted to punch me.

[randori]

Because... your face looked punchable. I mean- it's so you can learn how to not get hit.

[ fuck. fuck. he doesn't know how to lie. ]

[axilium]

[okay, he laughs.]

Ah, you're lucky I get told often that I look pretty irritating, or I might've taken offence to that.

[randori]

But you've never gotten hit before! So you're actually really strong? Or, do you just hang out with unnaturally nice people...?

[ He's pretty sure the natural thing to do to somebody that irritates you is punch them in the face. ]

[axilium]

Oh, they threaten it a lot! Actually, it's more like they threaten to break my ribs.

[randori]

How many ribs have you broken...?

[axilium]

I run fast.

[randori]

What if you get cornered?! Or you're ganged up on, or you have your hands tied up, or your knees broken—!?

[ You can't run forever! Experience speaking ]

[axilium]

Chill, man! These are my friends I'm talking about.

[randori]

—fingernails pulled out one by one and—-

[ ... ]

What?

[axilium]

... They're my friends.

[were? well, no point in getting into that with natsuo.]

They wouldn't hurt me for real. Probably. Anyway, I have enough self-preservation to not hang around anyone who'd seriously break my ribs.

[randori]

[ ...Huh.

Okay. Give him two or three seconds to process that, before he filters out everything but the most important information. ]

I won't seriously break your ribs [ just your face ] so we can still hang out, right?

[axilium]

[wow thanks]

Well, we got married and everything, didn't we?

[randori]

Yeah, but stuff like domestic violence is everywhere! It's so common! You gotta be careful!

[axilium]

... You really ought to rethink about making yourself out to be some kind of violent abuser, especially given where we are.

[randori]

I'm not! I told you, I'm— [ gestures vaguely at himself ]

Love and peace!!

[axilium]

[...]

C'mon, you can do better than that.

[randori]

[ grips Belph by the shoulders ]

I am the epitome of love and peace, got it?

[axilium]

[meep.]

I don't think you said that loud enough for everyone to hear.

[randori]

[ BELLOWS TO ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM ]

I AM THE EPITOME OF LOVE AND PEACE!!!

[axilium]

[...

CLAPPING. that was a very good shout, natsuo.]

[randori]

[ Ha, that's right! Natsuo looks super pleased by the clapping. ]

And don't forget it! If you ever need love and peace, just call me and I'll be there!

[axilium]

Yeah? Will you save me from being killed?

[randori]

Yes! I think that's why I got kidnapped- so I can save you and everybody else from being killed!

[axilium]

[NATSUO...]

That's... a very positive spin on things!

[randori]

There's no point in being anything else! It's like that saying, right? "The mind is what matters!"

[ completely butchered it. but the sentiment still stands: if you believe in something hard enough, that's your reality, even if it's just a delusion in the end. ]